Help

A new year, new beginnings, new hopes and dreams, new goals (trying to write 1 blog per month ☺) and of course new families to help. What does this mean for Amazing Gracie’s Gift Foundation?

So far the New Year has been very busy for us! We are excited as we have begun planning for our annual events. But we are also in awe over how many families needed help in just the first month of the year. Since January 1st Amazing Gracie’s Gift Foundation has donated gifts of financial assistance or wishes to 5 families whose children are battling pediatric cancer and/or a life threatening illness. 5 families in just 31 days. Scary. Go back 2 months to December and our total goes to 17 families in just 62 days. Again, scary. Scary because to me that seems like a lot of families in such a short period of time, scary because the incidence of new cases is growing, scary because I don’t want anyone to ever have to go through what we went through. Scary because of these statistics:

“In 2014, an estimated 15,780 new cases of cancer will be diagnosed and 1,960 deaths from cancer will occur among children and adolescents aged birth to 19 years. The annual incidence rate of cancer in children and adolescents is 186.6 per 1 million children aged birth to 19 years. Approximately 1 in 285 children will be diagnosed with cancer before age 20 years, and approximately 1 in 530 young adults between the ages of 20 and 39 years is a childhood cancer survivor. “

Yes, it’s scary, but it’s also humbling. Humbling to know that we are able to help families that need it. Humbling because we are able to help families in our daughters name and keep her memory alive.
This New Year brings gratitude and hope to our foundation. The reason we were able to help others is because of you! This New Year brings our annual events to all of you so that we can continue to help others. It’s obvious from the statistics that we need to keep helping others until a cure is found. As I said earlier, we’ve been very busy planning our events for the upcoming year. So I’m sending out my annual plea for help, help now, help throughout the year. Here’s how you can help ☺

February- April- Our annual Bunny sale. It was very fitting that this was our first fundraiser for our foundation. Gracie LOVED her bunny!!! So for Easter we sold milk chocolate bunnies in a special package with a very special message. We will continue to sell them this year and we have them ready NOW!! We have many, many cases of bunnies so please let us know if you’d be interested in selling or buying these very special milk chocolate bunnies ☺.

Golf Tournament- This year marks our 3rd Annual Amazing Gracie’s Golf Scramble. It is a great event full of smiles, fun and laughter for a great cause. This is our yearly BIG event for the foundation. It will be held at Stonebridge Golf Course on Saturday May 10, 2014. Last year we raised over 17,000!!!! And this year we hope to surpass that amount this year by 25%. Don’t golf? Our golf tournament is still for everyone! You can help us surpass our goal by becoming a sponsor, sponsoring a hole, donating a gift basket or item to our auction held after the tournament, come to the dinner after the tournament, volunteer to help at tournament, or just GOLF!! I should also mention that much of the money from this event is raised through sponsorships. If you know any businesses or corporations who would be interested in sponsoring please contact us.

50 States of Grace- This is held every September in honor of childhood cancer awareness month. This is held online and encourages every state to become involved in our foundation and in the fight against childhood cancer.

Night of Grace- Our Night of Grace will be held Saturday November 15, 2014 at Francesca’s Banquet Hall in Ilion. Please mark this on your calendars and come join us for an evening of dancing, food, drinks and fun with friends and family ☺

Blog- We are trying to write at least 1 blog per month. So far, so good ☺ But I don’t want everyone to get sick of hearing from me! And I would love to hear what others think or have experienced. So if you interested in being a guest blogger please let me know ☺

Online Donations-Please visit www.amazinggraciesgift.org to donate online at any time! Our website is always up and running giving you constant updates on what is happening with the foundation.

2014 seems to have so many expectations coming with it. Expectations that bring on a fear of failure, feeling overwhelmed, and of course another year without Gracie. But it also brings
new goals, new hopes and dreams, new families to help, new families to support, new friends, new sponsors and so much more! Please HELP us meet those expectations so we can journey to help others and to give them hope when they need it the most.

January. The month I dread. After New Years a high level of anxiety sets in. January 17th is 16 days away, 15 days away, 14 days away…. January 17th is the day Gracie died. How are we going to handle the days leading up to that day and that day itself? The memories of the last few weeks we had with Gracie come floating back in. The fear we had, the fear Gracie had. A month filled with sad eyes, tear-filled eyes, lots of painful tears from Gracie and mommy and daddy and Luke. Realizing she does not want to eat or drink anymore and hooking her up to IV fluids. Seeing her very thin, bone protruding body. The CT scans- the picture that determines if the treatment is working. The realization that it’s not, instead it’s making my daughter even sicker. It’s making her suffer. The final decision to stop treatment, being told Gracie is going to die. Watching my baby sink into a deep sleep on morphine to take the pain away. No more diaper changes, no more bottles… all I can do is hold her. So many choices you never want to make as a parent…. Still wondering if we made the right choices… A time filled with so many haunting, harsh memories and an endless, heartbreaking pain that cannot be fixed.

OR

January. The month I will cherish forever. How will we celebrate Gracie’s angel day? January 17th is the day my daughter left this Earth and went to heaven. The memories of her last few weeks come floating back in. Her big blue eyes, the endless snuggles we had. She was an awesome snuggler! The singing and dancing together, sitting and rocking by warm fires, playing with the Christmas boxes as we took down the tree. I can still see big smiles from Gracie, mommy, daddy and Luke, along with giggling and babbling and the words “mama” and “dada” coming from Gracie. Watching our favorite Barney videos together… “oh mister sun, sun, mister golden sun…” Sleeping together, always with her bunny and binkie ☺, staring into that beautiful face until we both fell asleep. Many friends and family holding, loving and saying goodbyes to Gracie one last time. Luke kissing his sister goodnight and telling her he loves her. Baxter, our dog laying his head on Gracie’s belly one last time as if he knew what was going to happen. A time filled with so many unforgettable, special moments full of love with our Gracie… but still an endless heartbreaking pain that cannot be fixed.

There are 2 ways I can look at and remember the last month with my daughter. Both end with a never-ending, heartbreaking pain that will never leave. Both end with questions- Why did this happen? Did we do the right thing? What would Gracie look like and be doing at almost 4 years old? All these feelings and questions are there each and every day. We sometimes get lost in the sad, harsh memories and sometimes savor in the good memories. It’s the life and reality of a parent who has had to watch their child battle a terminal illness.
We are very thankful to the Brave Will Foundation for helping us celebrate Gracie’s 1st angel birthday last year. They taught us that it is very helpful to have a plan for that day. This year we will make a plan and celebrate Gracie’s life and try to remember all the good times and happy memories. The sad, harsh memories will always be there, they were a part of what happened and it was the reality of the situation. But the good and happy memories will also always be there, as they were also a part of what happened and the reality of the situation. I hope not to dwell or get lost in the sad and harsh memories, but instead I hope that we as a family can look at and remember all the good and happy memories Gracie gave us. We will get through January, we will get through January 17th and we will do our best to remember and cherish all of our memories.

My Christmas Wish….

Holidays… Not sure where to begin, though I have figured some things out since last year. I don’t remember much of last years Christmas. It was our first Christmas without Gracie and I felt lost. We went through the motions of participating in all the traditions for our son, but we weren’t truly there. I didn’t feel like shopping, cooking, singing, entertaining, etc. The whole holiday was stressful with just trying to get through each day, holding it together for Luke and for our family and friends.

This year it has gotten better. Trust me when I say there isn’t one minute in a day that Gracie is not on my mind, but we are able to control our emotions a little better. The hurt is still there, but it’s become a normal to us… if that makes sense.

One thing I’ve noticed is that I have been on the ball this holiday season! In November I bought Luke his Christmas pj’s ( if you’re big on this you understand that they sell out by December 1st- crazy, I know!) I went Black Friday shopping (got some great deals), have baked TONS of cookies, shopped, spent many hours decorating, shopped some more, traveled to Christmas parties near and far, shopped even more, ordered Christmas cards that have yet to arrive, shopped even more, spent many nights wrapping, making sure I have a gift for everyone and still trying to think of the perfect gift for some, so more shopping to do…. I’ve got to tell you, I may be feeling more like myself, but I’m exhausted!!

I realized last night as I was curled up on the couch with Luke watching a movie that I am guilty of wanting more, wanting everything perfect. It’s so easy to get caught up in the idea of “more” during the holiday season than it is to really remember why we celebrate Christmas and what is important during this time. What is important is spending time with those you love. That is what I was missing last year, I wanted to spend Christmas with Gracie and I couldn’t believe that I would never have another Christmas to spend with her. This year I know that I can’t physically spend time with Gracie and so it’s been replaced with the “go, go, go, more, more, more” routine. That is not what Christmas is about. It’s about spending time with your loved ones, being together, helping each other, celebrating and enjoying life with each other in whatever traditions or religions you celebrate. Without each other, we have nothing. I still look at Gracie’s toys and clothes and know that these material things are worthless unless the ones you love are there to enjoy them.

So, this week I’m going to try to slow it down and spend more time with my family. I’m not perfect and yes I still have stuff to do to get ready for Christmas, and yes everyone is still getting presents! I will still miss my daughter and will still have tears, but I will remember all the memories I was lucky to have with her. I will try to be more aware of the meaning of Christmas and will work at making memories that will last a lifetime.

My wish this Christmas is for everyone to slow down, enjoy your family, your friends, your kids and make memories that you will cherish forever.
Merry Christmas,
Lisa

A poem I found in my classroom for my second graders. It’s a good message for all….

Make a list and check it twice
Buy everyone you know some dice.